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We Are the Best Defenders

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2024 12:59 pm
by Gorth
An infested marauder thrusts at guardsman Radley with his pine spear!
guardsman Radley whips his blanket around the incoming blow, throwing off the attack!
A solid yank on the spear pulls attacker off-balance!
What a household name.
Guardswoman Samia swings at an infested knoll yeti with her copper glaive!
15 pierce damage (60%) (chest)
Piercing strike driven clean into the chest. Shish-ka-yeti. *mortal*
An infested knoll yeti chokes out a final strangled roar before falling to the ground with a heavy *thud*.
An infested knoll yeti stands up.
"Wait! I'm not don-- urgh."
An infested marauder thrusts at Aegeus with his pine spear!
blocked!
Aegeus's destrier is spooked by the attack, bucking its rider!
A blue roan Viali destrier glances around frantically for somewhere to flee!
A militia soldier stops a blue roan Viali destrier and informs it that it can't pass while its identity is disguised.
a blue roan Viali destrier briefly removes its face covering to show its face to the guard and is waved through.
A blue roan Viali destrier heads south.
I have nothing for this one. no clever jokes

Re: For Humor

Posted: Thu Aug 08, 2024 1:08 pm
by verel
That last one was absolutely hilarious. Probably the funniest thing I've seen on CLok in a good while. I'm just imagining the horse biting off the straps of the bridle. I definitely love this.

Re: For Humor (Taste the love)

Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2024 3:03 pm
by Xanthe
Chione/Calandra smiles brightly. "I cooked for you!" She exclaims to Zeldryn. "It might not be warm now, but it's better this time, I think."
Speaking to you, Zeldryn curiously asks, "..Seriously?"
Chione/Calandra pulls off her backpack and rummages around in it, nodding at Zeldryn. "Yes!"
Zeldryn nods slowly, but shrugs his shoulders easily. "I mean. Hells. Why not, right? What'd ya' try to do?"
Chione/Calandra pulls out a wrapped hunk of deer meat and unwraps it. It looks a little charred, and smells heavily of pepper, basil and a little bit like honey. "It should be good as long as you eat around the really black parts," she says, smiling warmly at Zeldryn as she hands it over.
Zeldryn tries his best to maintain his poker face as he takes the meat in hand, but it falters slightly as he smells the spice. He glances over the blackened parts, and he slowly appraises it again. Then, shrugging his shoulders, he takes a sizeable bite, and chews thoroughly. He makes it most of the way through the first bite-- still chewing, when he starts to make a bit of a face. "I.. Uh.." He attempts, mouth still half-full. "...Wow."
Chione/Calandra beams at Zeldryn and leans back in her chair. "I have a little bit more so you won't get hungry later. It's really nice that I can cook for you now."
Zeldryn glances down at some seared deer meat again, parting his lips-- but at the sight of Chione/Calandra's smile, he returns it, and takes another sizeable bite. His teeth catch the edge of a blackened section, and his poker face falters a bit--, and he dips the tips of two fingers inside of his cheek to pluck out a particularly hard shard of burnt edge as he continues chewing. "I'm not going to act like you, um," He pauses, swallowing with a large mouthful of beer. "Like you don't need to practice, still. But. I'd be lying if I said this wasn't better than last time."
Zeldryn innocently attempts, "..I can. Um. Taste.. The love?"

Re: For Humor

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2024 1:06 am
by Smoothcoffee
Gotta be sure the directions are clear, these pumpkins don't know what's comin'....

[ESP-GRAY]: A midday-blue entity savagely explains, "You beat it into submission! Beat it until it gives up the ghost. Then you beat it some more! Then you claw out the guts and set them on fire!"
[ESP-GRAY]: A tide-blue entity slowly asks, "Midday? Did ye have a nightmare again?"

Re: For Humor: Double Whammy

Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2024 10:43 pm
by Zeldryn
You take a closer look at a trident-and-lightning-wielding man statuette atop a polished stone pedestal in the area...
The statuette depicts a massive bearded man with an impossibly huge chest and muscles, a wrapping of tangled seaweed around his waist. In his right hand is a large trident, a lightning bolt gripped in his left.

Zeldryn rubs a bar of juniper-berry soap in between his hands until he's amassed a reasonable pile of bubbles, arranging it into an approximation of a juniper-scented beard below his chin. He does his best to mimic the posture of a trident-and-lightning-wielding man statuette atop a polished stone pedestal, putting a particularly stupid look on his face as he does. He makes sure to puff out his chest to ridiculous bredth. He's so damned skinny it doesn't come a fraction close to the overly exuberant muscular physique a trident-and-lightning-wielding man statuette atop a polished stone pedestal displays.

Zeldryn turns to face Chione directly with a no-nonsense expression. In his best, surprisingly approximate impersonation of Rakar, he proudly begins, "I..." Pauses for effect, then finishes with, "...AM mighty."

*SEVERAL HOURS PASS*

[ESP-GRAY]: A sapphire entity informs, "Jade. Hate to break it to ya', mate. but we're gonna' need you to change yer' hue to somethin' blue. Yer' throwin' off the symmetry."

You sense other auras connected to your current ESP network:
midnight-blue tide-blue frosty-blue
morning-blue turquoise jade

Re: For Humor

Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2024 12:45 pm
by Gorth
A black cat with white accents approaches doorway in the south wall, but one of the inn staff stops her and says, "Sorry, that lounge is for Shadgard Outriders only."

Re: For Humor

Posted: Sun Aug 25, 2024 6:04 pm
by Zeldryn
A black cat with white accents climbs in via a rough-carved palisade ladder (upward).

Re: For Humor

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2024 1:46 pm
by Rosalin
Had a fun little discovery with a legacy item.
sheath
You put your cedar quarterstaff in your burnished leather staff sling.

look sling
You take a closer look at a burnished leather staff sling that you are wearing ...
A primitive yet difficult-to-wield weapon, the sling consists of a simple pouch between lengths of
cord used to launch stones. Clumsy and ineffective in untrained hands, the sling can nonetheless be
extraordinarily accurate and deadly in the hands of an experienced wielder.
Wait a hot minute. That doesn't seem right.
examine sling
You carefully examine a burnished leather staff sling that you are wearing ...
A primitive yet difficult-to-wield weapon, the sling consists of a simple pouch between lengths of
cord used to launch stones. Clumsy and ineffective in untrained hands, the sling can nonetheless be
extraordinarily accurate and deadly in the hands of an experienced wielder.
It is a huge item, mainly made of leather.
It can be worn in the shoulders inventory slot.
It is a container that can hold staffs or polearms only.
It can be used to shoot foes with stones and bullets.

combat
Your potential combat rolls wielding a burnished leather staff sling:
Ranged: 142
Dodge: 259
I think it's going to be slinging things a little bigger than stones and bullets. Does this count as hurling?

Re: For Humor

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2024 2:21 pm
by Rias
Don't forget to submit a bug report on that one!

Re: For Humor

Posted: Thu Oct 24, 2024 8:22 am
by Smoothcoffee
I think the templar are going a little too hard. They didn't understand the assignment. I'm sorry, lil buddy.

You thoughtfully say, "At times, I've seen others request to have their limbs broken. Do let me know if that is something you would like."
A spectral watcher floats northwest.
Water slowly drips off you, though you remain drenched.
You thoughtfully clarify, "To have their opponents' limbs broken, I mean."

Apotheosis

Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2024 11:54 pm
by Zeldryn
You continue climbing upward and are about halfway up ...
A <very mean lady> looses an arrow at you with her longbow! Ranged(rofl):lmao vs Dodge(haha(-10x)):hehe = ouchies (92%)
59 pierce damage (69%) (chest, cuirass)
Piercing strike driven clean into the chest. Shish-ka-man. *mortal*

A cold, quiet nothingness overwhelms your consciousness as life flees your failing body ...

========================================
[OOC: You have died, but this isn't the end! For more information on the game's death system and OOC advice on what to do next, type help death]
========================================
You just can't seem to manage that in your ghostly state.
[You stop climbing up a wall (downward).]
[
A decent fall with a chance for minor injuries.]
[Earth, Apparently] (OutUr) Late Evening, Cold, Cloudy, Calm
There appears to have been recent work done to clear the debris and obstructions from this small side alley, actually allowing enough space for unimpeded travel between the destroyed buildings to either side heading towards the north. The displaced rubble hasn't gone far, simply stacked on top of other remains to create a haphazard barrier that appears, at points, that it wouldn't take much disturbance for it to all cascade back down while blocking the view of the rest of the city. One new and obviously recent addition to the narrow route is a sturdy iron-reinforced #gate, constructed between the two mostly intact husks of buildings to prevent further progression.
You're barely able to see at all in the near-complete darkness. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: (npc)a renamed mob who was renamed to preserve the identity of this area (moderately-armored, carrying a ball-and-chain and a shield, bloody) and (npc)Her likewise renamed sidekick Larry(moderately-armored, carrying a spear and a shield).
Obvious paths: south, an iron-reinforced gate (closed), a crumbling building wall (upward).
[
You land steadily on your feet!]
[You are staggered *and stunned* for 2 seconds!]
[You are no longer staggered.]
[You are no longer stunned.]

info
You are an insubstantial wandering spirit.

A renamed mob who was renamed to preserve the identity of this area heads south.

l
[Earth, Apparently] (OutUr) Late Evening, Cold, Cloudy, Calm
There appears to have been recent work done to clear the debris and obstructions from this small side alley, actually allowing enough space for unimpeded travel between the destroyed buildings to either side heading towards the north. The displaced rubble hasn't gone far, simply stacked on top of other remains to create a haphazard barrier that appears, at points, that it wouldn't take much disturbance for it to all cascade back down while blocking the view of the rest of the city. One new and obviously recent addition to the narrow route is a sturdy iron-reinforced #gate, constructed between the two mostly intact husks of buildings to prevent further progression.
You're barely able to see at all in the near-complete darkness. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: (npc)Her likewise renamed sidekick Larry (moderately-armored, carrying a spear and a shield).
Obvious paths: south, an iron-reinforced gate (closed), a crumbling building wall (upward).
Her likewise renamed sidekick Larry heads south.

info
You are an insubstantial wandering spirit.

[#GAME] <Spectrum> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[#GAME] <Spectrum> Beware my power. Zeldryn has transcended the limits of mortality.

[#GAME] <Spectrum> ..You guys wanna know what's even funnier about this

[#GAME] <Spectral Spectrum> ..I still have this title

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82ANkjVEpYk

Re: For Humor

Posted: Fri Nov 15, 2024 1:50 pm
by Zeldryn
You also notice a wooden storage crate (open), some wanted posters hung on the Town Hall, a wooden trash barrel, a large post board, some copper steam pipe conduits, a series of small steam spinners, and a snowman (scuffed).

a snowman (scuffed).

Nice

Re: For Humor

Posted: Tue Nov 26, 2024 11:57 am
by Gorth
Also here: (npc)[[a bog body]] (severely damaged, sluggish, under attack, under attack, under attack).
Obvious paths: west, northeast.
> ATTACK command queued.
You fend off an attack from a bog body with your falchion!
A bog body falls to the ground in a lifeless heap.
(energy -5)
Attack whom?
Whelp. Guess he gave up. Winner by technical knockout?

Re: For Humor

Posted: Sun Dec 29, 2024 1:17 pm
by esthy
Here I was, covering my ears up all nice.
You pull the hood of your deeply hooded mottled ivory wool robe down over your eyes.
You pull the hood of your white hooded wool cloak (closed) down over your eyes.
You put a burgundy cotton hood on your head.
You see a hooded hooded hooded very tall slender woman (yourself!).

Best bug ever

Re: For Humor

Posted: Tue Jan 07, 2025 1:51 pm
by Gorth
The Game wrote: Shield Use: 202.212

A...ghost lantern when it's not octum? What?

Posted: Wed Jan 08, 2025 1:47 pm
by artus
Verel's lit glass-paned copper oil lantern flickers ominously a moment.
[#GAME] <Chariot> wait wth?
You carefully search the area.
Users currently connected:
Adresin Mirazia (Event GM) Smoothcoffee
Chariot Ralen Spidercat
Gorth Rias (DEV) Stomatopod
Jerc Shewel (Technical GM) Thresherale
Kelpie Sideri (Event GM) Yessica
(15 users total.)
Verel's lit glass-paned copper oil lantern flickers ominously a moment.
Eirlys carefully searches the area.
Eirlys carefully searches the area.
Verel's lit glass-paned copper oil lantern flickers ominously a moment.
[#GAME] <Chariot> Um...was I alone in seeing a disembodied lantern from someone offline?
[#GAME] <Yessica> Nope.
Verel's lit glass-paned copper oil lantern flickers ominously a moment.
[#GAME] <Smoothcoffee> nah
Raina gets up off a bench.
Eirlys closes a corset-tied doeskin pouch.
[#GAME] <Chariot> The char's not on, wth?
Raina carefully searches the area.
Verel's lit glass-paned copper oil lantern has gone out.
[#GAME] <Yessica> Lololol!
[#GAME] <Chariot> I know who he is and he's not on who. Gonna bug this.
[#GAME] <Yessica> I don't even see a lantern in the area.
Bug report #2262 sent as follows:
I just saw a phantom lantern that's nowhere to be seen with said character not online both as a char and on who, that being coldstar/verel. His lantern flickered and faded right in the town commons without him or the lantern being there at all.

Who's scared of who?

Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2025 2:20 am
by artus
A phantasmal forgotten citizen faces you and unleashes a howling, mournful cry! Off(d100)(+2x):70 vs Def(d-799):-799 = 70 (70%)
Your mind is overwhelmed with a sense of foreign fear and sorrow!
<Sanity -5>
You find yourself unable to move from this spot!
You can't do that while rooted!
[Done moving.]
A phantasmal forgotten citizen faces you blankly, the ghostly image of a light-striated stone pyramid forming in your mind's eye!
A phantasmal forgotten citizen has been defeated.
You shake off an intense fear.

Re: For Humor

Posted: Tue Jan 28, 2025 3:52 pm
by Rias
Speaking to you, ((Technical GM Shewel)) says, "I don't think you'll like to hear it, but it doesn't seem to check prerequisite chains."
You say, "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
Rias dies.
Speaking to you, ((Technical GM Shewel)) says, "That's appropriately dramatic."

Re: For Humor

Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2025 12:45 pm
by Stranger
I thought It would be silly to post a pseudo translation post for my character. Some people get offended OOC by his in character actions so maybe this helps.


What Stranger does/says --> (What it essentially means):

Stranger glares at you. --> (Hi there! I see you stopped long enough for me to say hello, do you feel like roleplaying?)

Stranger grumbles. --> (Something has perturbed him. Might be a lot of people around or the dreaded... forced social interactions... OH NO!)

Stranger leans against the wall and folds his arms glaring. --> (Business is open for roleplay! Come talk to me and get glared at or ignored!)

Stranger scoffs, talks curtly or rudely to you. --> (WOW! You got me to interact with you verbally, you must be an old friend or REALLY persistent, in either case well done!)