My mistake

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Blitz
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My mistake

Post by Blitz »

TL;DR: The below is an elaborate but vague way of saying sorry. I made a mistake, I feel bad, I want to fix things but I don't know how. Advice and suggestions are welcome.

Dear all,

I've been playing a lot of CLOK in a very short amount of time and have grown rather attached to the game and my character, which has undergone a lot of development but still has lots more to go. Without going in detail, though, I have made a mistake, and it wasn't until I was met with repercussions that I'd realized as much.

What I thought wasn't a big deal OOCly, in retrospect, is far too close to bug abuse/exploiting than I would like to admit. This has left me feeling bad and rudely awakened, because I absolutely hate abuse in any way, shape or form. I can't shake off a certain feeling of hypocrisy now, though, being a borderline-exploiter myself.

What's worse is that this has ruined my character's IC relations with some people my character deeply respects. Effectively, because I was an idiot and didn't think through my character's actions OOCly, my character has ICly become someone I really don't want him to be. This definitely constitutes a Bad Turn on his development track, but I don't see any way to turn around, backtrack, and reload the last quicksave.

Right now, I'm not sure how to progress. I have half a mind to suck it up and get back on my horse and see how this turn of events impacts my character. From my recent lack of hours spent on CLOK, however, I reckon this isn't the path I'd enjoy taking. Another half a mind would have me talking to the staff, to see if we can retcon everything from the bad turn onwards and figure out some different penalty for my transgressions -- an OOC one perhaps, because I feel my OOC stupidity has gotten me into an IC mess. I'm on the fence about whether or not such is reasonable, though, and don't want to cling to hope of such an odd request being met with acquiescence. I've pondered starting a new character, but I feel as though it's too early to jump ship on Blitz -- it just 'wouldn't feel the same' to the point where I'm afraid I wouldn't enjoy the game as I have over the past weeks. (An alt, I could manage. A new main, I think not.) One course of events I'm particularly keen to avoid is losing interest and stopping the CLOK altogether, which is why I'm calling out to this forum, in hopes one of you has brilliant ideas on how to proceed. I have played literally dozens -- perhaps even hundreds of MUDs, but I can count the ones that I enjoyed as much as CLOK on one hand. I would hate to call quits now...
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Makkah
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Re: My mistake

Post by Makkah »

Would you be interested in just starting a new char? Doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me. Not enough to have to call it quits in our wonderful little world.
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Lysse
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Re: My mistake

Post by Lysse »

I don't know what the mistake is, but I'd personally try to run with it were I you, Blitz.

One of the neat things about this MUD is that there are consequences for your actions, even if you don't think you're being watched or monitored. It may not be the most initially pleasant course of action, but I think it would be the most overall rewarding.

Otherwise, taking a break from Blitz might help. Taking up an alt for a bit, while you sort things out in your head.
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Orris
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Re: My mistake

Post by Orris »

I hope you don't quit, I've made a few mistakes but I've been able to resolve most of them IC and a few I haven't, but that just adds character I think. You can't always fix everything but it's interesting to live with the consequences. If you've offended someone you deeply respect, you can probably prove to them that it was a mistake, or just try enough to show you're apologetic. I guess that depends on who it is though.
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Rias
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Re: My mistake

Post by Rias »

Every action you take when playing should be considered in-character, unless you're in a room specifically tagged as OOC (like the mentor lounge, the OOC arena, the OOC museum - all should have big yellow "OOC" letters next to the room name) or you're speaking with a GM in the room with you about OOC matters. OOC chat and TELLs are also OOC actions, of course.

That said, the people you offended are rather notorious for their short tempers and aggressiveness. You probably won't be able to make it up to them by approaching them directly, but you could try something like finding someone to mediate for you (I'm suggesting a PC, not an NPC).
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Jaster
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Re: My mistake

Post by Jaster »

So he offended Kiyaani? She is a firecracker.
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Rias
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Re: My mistake

Post by Rias »

Kiyaani is so crazy complicated, she's people.
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Acarin
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Re: My mistake

Post by Acarin »

I can see a few ways around an angry Kiyaani. How is your dodge and perception?
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Blitz
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Re: My mistake

Post by Blitz »

Thanks guys. The replies are, well, heartening.

I'm all for the "actions have consequences" thing, even though that's exactly what got me into this bind; my character did something -- which I (and he) would've sworn he'd never even consider had you asked me a week ago -- because I slipped, badly, IRL. With this unintended change of pace, I pissed off the Firecrackers, and I'm not sure what to make of it yet. Does Blitz realize what he's done? Would he admit it to himself, let alone to others? Do I still want to play him, regardless of the previous answers? I'm tending towards a "No" on the first and second question right now, but that may be because I'm too hung up on 'undoing' my mistake. As soon as I'm confident the third answer's a "Yes", though, I'll be back.
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Karn
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Re: My mistake

Post by Karn »

The fun of playing in an environment with other developing, evolving, characters instead of static programmed NPCs. Sometimes you end up with things happening that weren't mention in the walkthrough.

Stick with it.
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Blitz
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Re: My mistake

Post by Blitz »

Curses... 9gag threw this at me.

Image

I'm smelling Giganti culture, right there. Will have to think of a more setting-appropriate name, but I'll be back when I think of one! (And when I have some spare time between work and my sleep deprivation.)
Icterus
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Re: My mistake

Post by Icterus »

Some IC situations you are not going to fix, Blitz, no matter how hard you try or your intentions. Keep playing Blitz because in the end you are here to play CLOK. Blitz has friends IC just take some time to look.
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Slaidh
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Re: My mistake

Post by Slaidh »

I think I just got involved in this, I just wanted to say my actions were all in character and nothing personal. I hope it didn't put you off to the game, please keep playing!
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Makkah
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Re: My mistake

Post by Makkah »

Slaidh's a h8r
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Blitz
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Re: My mistake

Post by Blitz »

I must admit -- my anger last night was not just in character.

At creation, I'd set up my character with a blank slate as far as long-term goals and objectives were concerned. These were shaped through IC developments. Perhaps they are too ambitious, I don't know. I do know getting zero result at everything I try which requires interaction with others, is getting to a point where it downright frustrates me.

I've been waiting for a long time (OP: march 26th) to set this [crap] right, because having a fuss with the Dwaedn is the Exact Opposite of what Blitz wants and needs. Now, it's not just not fixed -- it has actually gotten worse.

I'll still be around. I'm runnong low on options of where to take Blitz, but there's still a few (or at least one) left. ICly, his faith in humanity was already pretty low, but now it has been shattered.
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Lysse
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Re: My mistake

Post by Lysse »

You're never completely out of options, Blitz. It may seem that way at times, but there's always options. Admittedly, I don't know what happened last night with the Dwaedn Wyr; but the saying "When one door closes, another opens" can be very apt in regards to Clok for the most part.

I'd also like to say that, in regards to "zero results at everything" you try, one of the groups you're trying to interact with ICly does not take well to outsiders and interlopers, and very few PCs have ICly been trusted by them. More than likely less than a handful.
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Rias
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Re: My mistake

Post by Rias »

I'll point out a few things here.

First I'll echo Lysse's sentiment that the group you've seemed most intent on interacting with is possibly the most standoffish/mistrustful-of-outsiders group around (to say nothing of their being downright hostile to all outsiders, with exceptions being the two player characters in this group who have reasons for not being completely hostile to everyone), and I tried to make it clear from the beginning that there wasn't much chance you'd have any luck with them (same goes for anyone else trying, this isn't just in your case). I can think of a single person who has managed to get as far as "we won't kill you on sight" with them, but they still don't interact with this character or allow them to use any of their amenities or loaf around in their territories. This character also didn't pursue or ask for this, but it was an honor given to them for some of their actions they took on their own.

Second, regarding the situation with the Dwaedn Wyr: It seems like you're treating the initial trespass with them as more of an OOC issue that you've come up with an alternate IC explanation for. As a result, your character has consistently claimed ignorance of any trespasses against the Dwaedn Wyr, which makes the Dwaedn Wyr feel as though you're calling them fools and/or liars. This has caused what would have been a relatively minor issue to spiral into something far more insulting to them. In addition, on the occasions a Dwaedn has taken it to the point of physical combat with you, you've made it a point to ignore them (as they hack away at you) and instead continue on speaking to someone else in the room as though the warrior attacking you is a negligible minor nuisance. This certainly isn't going to gain you any points in a group of proud warriors who live for battle and seeking challenges in combat.

I'm sorry you've been frustrated. I might suggest getting into contact with the one major druidic group you seem to have avoided thus far, as they're the most likely to be accepting and open with you (or most anyone who comes to them, for that matter). I'm not telling you to join them, as that's your choice, of course, but your character seems to have a large interest in druidism, and these people would be your best bet at making contact and having discussion with.
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Blitz
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Re: My mistake

Post by Blitz »

I did not think it was relatively minor at all. A berserker walked up to me, confirmed I was Blitz and started attacking. I was inexperienced in dealing with the Dwaedn at the time, but even now, I wouldn't consider something like that little. Either way, I wouldn't last two rounds if I fought back; Blitz is in no position to uphold the Might makes Right lifestyle given his utter lack of combat skills. No one would find much of a challenge in combat with me, but one of the options I'm currently considering is training my combat to go from "poor" to at least "mediocre" and challenging a (representative of the) Dwaedn. They attack me for (feeling they're) being called liars. Blitz would fight to defend his honor as well (having, in his eyes, been falsely accused of being a thief, a liar, and a cheater of friends). Even knowing he'll find certain death, he'd rather be judged by the Gods than by man.

The "zero results at everything" doesn't only reflect trying to speak with the Dunwyr. It also reflects asking Evelyn to mediate with the Dwaedn, which backfired so hard she went from friend to killer in about an hour or so. It reflects trying to obtain a way to hear the voice of the Gaea, which was immediately shot down in one case, but an alternative was arranged in two separate cases. Unfortunately, the PCs with which the latter arrangements were made disappeared without a trace directly after.

I realize the frustration is caused by a mix of over-ambition, getting my hopes up too high and simple bad luck. However, such realization does little -- not nothing, but little -- to take away the sting of the (lack of) progress that has been made given the invested time and effort.

I've already gotten in contact with the Udemi. In fact, I wouldn't have been to arrange my first meeting with Skjotur at all if it weren't for Danlin. I've spoken at length about various subjects with her, and with Lysse as well, which has been the primary contributor to Blitz' character development I think. We haven't really discussed druidry (not at length anyway), and Danlin made it clear she wouldn't either unless I joined the Tse Gaiyan, but I'll admit I haven't tried to with other Udemi Blitz knows and respects. Maybe I'll give Baerden a call soon.


It has been relieving to ventilate some of my frustrations and to receive feedback, constructive criticism, and repeated requests to keep playing. In retrospect, I feel I may have come off as a whining child, which is not something I'm used to being or acting like. I sincerely hope the QQ won't reflect too poorly on me as a person, and I would like to conclude this thread with assuring you all I'm usually quite the opposite. I guess the IC disappointments are getting to me OOCly because I really enjoy CLOK and lose myself in it completely for hours on end with frightening ease. Despite all the setbacks, I like a challenge, and I think that's part of why I enjoy it so much.

If an admin would please be so kind as to lock this thread before I dribble more booboo onto the BBS, that'd be much appreciated.
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