For Humor

Reynard · Post by **Reynard** » Fri Jun 29, 2012 2:11 pm

I used to be an archer, but then a took an Acarin to the eye.

Acarin · Post by **Acarin** » Fri Jun 29, 2012 3:32 pm

I don't get it.

Reynard · Post by **Reynard** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:26 pm

Wow, I really messed that up there. I meant to type "some stairs" but it came out "an Acarin".

Post by **Evelyn** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:34 pm

Tea attack!

Rias points his small painted porcelain teacup at Marceline!
Rias flicks a teacup at Marceline.
A stream of hot tea surges toward Marceline. (R: 25099 vs D:63)
0 heat damage -! to the abdomen, glances harmlessly off an ice-coated lovely dark soft leather breastplate.
Marceline is drenched!

Jaster · Post by **Jaster** » Mon Jul 09, 2012 10:25 pm

Speaking to Lae, Saeda asks, "Is everything alright, Miss?"

Lae says, "Just a broken window and some bad puppies."

Lae frowns at a brown-eyed brown bloodhound.

A Shadgard militia guard says, "Aww, they're just doing their job."

A Shadgard militia guard glances at you.

Saeda glances at a brown-eyed brown bloodhound.

A Shadgard militia guard says, "Still not sure I shouldn't take you in."

A Shadgard militia guard eyes you speculatively.

A brown-eyed brown bloodhound folds its arms across its chest.

A brown-eyed brown bloodhound says, "He's not wanted for anything."

Saeda blinks.

Elizamor · Post by **Elizamor** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 4:48 pm

Hey, it's just like me and the puch-throwing horse!

Post by **Lun** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 6:13 am

[That scarred scarred mercenary looks like the one you've been tasked to hunt down!]

He's got so many scars, his scars have scars.

Post by **Lun** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:04 pm

cast 404
You don't have a spell or valid conjuration prepared, or a wand to cast with.

Xzean · Post by **Xzean** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 9:19 pm

[quote=Lun][That scarred scarred mercenary looks like the one you've been tasked to hunt down!]

He's got so many scars, his scars have scars.[/quote]

Yo dawg I heard you like scars so we put some scars on your scars so you can have scars that have a scar.

Post by **Evelyn** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 2:55 pm

A Shadgard constable carefully searches the area.

You exclaim, "Look a spider!
You scream!
l
[Tanner] (shop) (InUr)
Various leather products sit on shelves or hang from hooks in this store, from belts and sheaths to protective garments and saddles. A curtained off area of the shop houses some tanning implements and a long wooden bench.
The area is mostly quiet.
You also notice a large tanning frame and a sturdy worktable.
Also here: a Shadgard constable and a saddle-marked brown bloodhound.
Obvious exits: out.

A Shadgard constable just went out.
A Shadgard constable is followed by a saddle-marked brown bloodhound.

Yes I am silly.

Acarin · Post by **Acarin** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:02 pm

[FROM Kiyaani (OOC)]: but i had my eye of the tiger music all set up for claw. claw claw claw. claw claw claw. claw claw claw claw. CLAW!

Acarin · Post by **Acarin** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:57 pm

look zergling
The zergling runs on all fours, the size of a largeish dog. In addition to a maw of razor teeth and four wickedly-clawed feet, it sports two spindly, talon-tipped appendages sprouting from its back.

You say, "You look like you'd make a fine mount."

You nod to a salivating zergling.

A salivating zergling piddles on your feet. Wait, did that just happen? Of course not.

KianTheArcher · Post by **KianTheArcher** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:23 am

Rias just arrived, riding a giant silverback gorilla.

Rias just went west, riding a giant silverback gorilla.

*Edited*

Shortly followed by...

You shake your head briefly, clearing your thoughts. That can't have been real.

Post by **Lun** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:04 pm

Rias, you silly monkey. Giant gorilla mount

Acarin · Post by **Acarin** » Tue Jul 24, 2012 2:28 pm

[quote=KianTheArcher]Rias just arrived, riding a giant silverback gorilla.

Rias just went west, riding a giant silverback gorilla.

*Edited*

Shortly followed by...

You shake your head briefly, clearing your thoughts. That can't have been real.[/quote]

I think this was a test of the new stealth monkey mounts

Disclaimer: Stealth mounts don't exist and never will. This was a joke.

Jaster · Post by **Jaster** » Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:59 pm

[FROM Lemuel (OOC)]: I'm saving up for firearms, but too expensive to experiment with; what would give best rate-of-fire & damage combo ?
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: what's a decent perception number?
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: 9001
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: it's OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: you're a [dandelion]
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: paha
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: i don't know man, 6-700
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: how you like how [crap]'s going down with Lae?
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: as a player... not character, obviously
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: all i have to say is.. there will be blood... oh yes.. there will be blood
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: lol
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: nice...
[TO Lemuel (OOC)]: i'd say if you want something that will kill stuff, get the musket
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: lemme know when and where and I'll eff some people up with you
[FROM Lemuel (OOC)]: thank you
[FROM Lemuel (OOC)]: is there only one type of musket ?
[TO Lemuel (OOC)]: yessir
[TO Lae (OOC)]: [FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: lemme know when and where and I'll eff some people up with you
[FROM Lemuel (OOC)]: thanks
[TO Lae (OOC)]: that just happened
[TO Lae (OOC)]: lol
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: funny you say that, lae just brought it up ICly
[FROM Lae (OOC)]: he's a MIND reader
[TO Lae (OOC)]: i know right!
[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: mind reader
[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: lol

TELLTROCITY!

Makkah · Post by **Makkah** » Tue Jul 31, 2012 10:15 pm

Killing is fun. And suicide is painless.

Asher · Post by **Asher** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:19 am

Zaggeh asks, "Thank you for your assistance. Is there anything I can do for you?"
Zaggeh asks, "Oh my, did my robes get torn?"
(Asher snickers at your lack of pants.)
You say, "Now I'm a doctor and I've seen many in my time, but you might not want to be like that in public."
[OOC - Zaggeh]: Actually, ICly my character shouldn't know why you're snickering, whoops.
[OOC - Zaggeh]: Also I don't really look that young.
[OOC - Brother Asher]: He calls everyone youngin.
Zaggeh asks, "I do believe I am adequately equipped, what do you mean?"
[OOC - Brother Asher]: Also here: Zaggeh (not wearing any pants).
You exclaim, "Ignorance is bliss I say. Be well then!"
You wave.
[OOC - Zaggeh]: Seriously? When did they implement that.

Zaggeh · Post by **Zaggeh** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 6:27 am

look Zaggeh
You see Zaggeh.
He is about six feet tall and appears to be elderly. He has thinning short dark brown hair and thoughtful gray eyes. His skin is tan and his body's build is lean.
He is wearing a small clear crystal pendant, a leather satchel, a pole harness carrying a well-balanced oak staff, some charcoal gray simple linen robes, some linen handwraps, a charcoal gray linen waist-sash and some linen footwraps.

Not my fault the system is flawed.

Still, after I died from shock and embarassment, I did laugh at it. :-D

Post by **Evelyn** » Thu Aug 02, 2012 12:54 pm

[OOC - Cutpurse Jaster]: i really want to do it with the droppings, but i have no RP reason to.. lol

This made me GOL, for real.

Elizamor · Post by **Elizamor** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:16 am

[OOC - Lelia]: i'm thinking on what guild i should join for my alt. Rook Parlour sounds pretty interesting, but isn't that like, dark nether stuff?
[OOC - Liana]: Don't have to be evil though.
[OOC - Spearhead for hire]: yea, i think it's more "oooh we're philosophical research people that like to play with nether"
[OOC - Liana]: Yus.
[OOC - Spearhead for hire]: "and dead things"

Landion · Post by **Landion** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 2:19 pm

[OOC - Spearhead for hire]: I'm a tin-can with a stick. Evelyn is a nuclear weapon with tissue-paper

Ardor · Post by **Ardor** » Fri Aug 17, 2012 3:46 pm

[OOC - SGM Landion]: Without telling you the exact numbers Ardor... you hitting 5 worm invasions in the space of an hour is like... the opposite of winning the lottery.

Edit, later:

[OOC - SGM Landion]: I wish I could take credit for your recent worm troubles Ardor, but alas, your luck seems to be doing it all for me.

Rithiel · Post by **Rithiel** » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:44 pm

[OOC - Kabah]: lol Rithiel, you neat-freak
[OOC - Kabah]: alphabetizing the guilds and profs

(Talking about on the wiki).

Jaster · Post by **Jaster** » Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:40 pm

Your hiding spot is revealed by a Shadgard militia member!
A Shadgard militia member pulls the trigger of his antiquated flintlock.
A Shadgard militia member fires a lead shot at you! (R:1287 vs D:1124)
28 pierce damage - to the right arm, barely deflected by some leather vambraces.
(energy -28)

A Shadgard militia member carefully loads his antiquated flintlock with some powder from his belt powderhorn.

s
You try to go south, but your way is blocked by a Shadgard militia member!

And some time later...

light dropping
You retrieve some firestones from your black oilcloth backpack.
You use some firestones to light a large dropping.
You stow some firestones in your black oilcloth backpack.
Roundtime: 1 second.

EWHAvd>
hurl
(energy -3)
(Changing combat position to Ranged)
You hurl a burning large dropping at a Shadgard militia member!!
A burning large dropping hurtles toward a Shadgard militia member! (R:89 vs D:850)
0 gross damage to the left arm!
14 fire damage to the left arm!
Roundtime: 4 seconds.

EWHRng>
A Shadgard militia member carefully searches the area.