For Humor

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Bryce
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Post by Bryce »

You hurl a handful of snow at a weathered brigand!!
A handful of snow hurtles toward a weathered brigand! (!) (R:177 vs D:0)
0 cold damage -! to the chest, glances harmlessly off a brigandine cuirass.
A weathered brigand has been defeated.
Roundtime: 4 seconds.
ask jes for date
The horse thief Jessie doesn't seem too interested in talking about that.
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Francesca
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Post by Francesca »

You hurl a bright red tomato at an infested merchant!!
A bright red tomato hurtles toward an infested merchant! (R:80 vs D:91)
0 squashy damage to the left leg!
An infested merchant is covered in splattered tomato!

Also here: [[an infested merchant (lightly wounded, splattered with tomato)]].
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Ardor
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Post by Ardor »

A massive, ethereal bear flickers momentarily into being over the form of Evelyn!
A massive, ethereal bear lets loose with a mighty roar!

An ancient gold-scaled drakolin flees outward in fear!
[FROM Rithiel (OOC)]: Be careful what you wish for.
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Rias
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Post by Rias »

Even drakolin fear the Great Bear Spirit.
The lore compels me!
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Kenionatus
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Post by Kenionatus »

[OOC - Faeren Stutters]: Hi people!
* Faeren has left the lands.
[OOC - Zafyr]: Hi.
[OOC - Danlin]: And...bye people?
[OOC - Zafyr]: Apparently.
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Avedri
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Post by Avedri »

Kent takes off a winged iron greathelm.

Kent arches an eyebrow at a shadow familiar.

A shadow familiar flits into the area and stares at Kent pointedly with its tiny, luminous blue eyes. A moment later, the familiar twists and writhes until it has formed into the shape of a single word:

"PROBLEM?"

The letters twist and combine back into a shadow familiar, which quickly darts away.

Kent puts a winged iron greathelm on his head.

Kent says, his voice muffled by a winged iron greathelm, "There is a grave problem, here, lady."

(He is wearing a winged iron greathelm, a pair of thin-framed spectacles,)

You ask, "Does it involve you wearing spectacles under a helm?"
Last edited by Avedri on Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ANNOUNCEMENT: Octavia can sass sassy things now.

[CHAT - Kent the Shade Shatterer]: what do you mean, now?

[CHAT - Matilda]: Is that implying she couldn't before?
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Jaster
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Post by Jaster »

His voice was muffled by the helm in his hands?
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"
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Avedri
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Post by Avedri »

Nah, that was my bad, I pasted from Skype and sometimes it organizes conversations oddly.
ANNOUNCEMENT: Octavia can sass sassy things now.

[CHAT - Kent the Shade Shatterer]: what do you mean, now?

[CHAT - Matilda]: Is that implying she couldn't before?
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Acarin
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Post by Acarin »

Some of this log removed to shorten things up. Not that funny but I enjoyed it:

You sniffle in the shadows.

Spearhead just went northeast, armor clanking.

Spearhead just arrived, armor clanking.

look
[Mine Shaft] (InCvDt)
Fragmented walls of limestone create a narrow mineshaft. Overhead, tangled roots wind across the ceiling while loose dirt and shattered stone cover the ground.
The area is poorly-lit. The area is mostly quiet.
You also notice a coal vein (x4), a lead vein and the corpse of an albino spider.
Also here: Spearhead (heavily-armored).
Obvious exits: northeast (dark), east (dark), south.

Spearhead asks, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "Hm?"

You hiss angrily.

Spearhead carefully searches the area.

You say, "I'm a spider."

You hiss angrily.

Spearhead asks, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "You're... a spider?"

You say, "Don't mind me."

You say, "Some guy killed the rest of us."

You say, "He even went as far as to eat us."

Spearhead asks, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "Some... guy?"

You say, "Yes."

Spearhead glances at the corpse of an albino spider.

[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: is that you?

You say, "He was hard to see... came in while it was dark and decimated us."

Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "Color me confused."

You say, "I'm the last spider remaining..."

You say, "The last of my kind down here."

Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "Aranas be damned."

You say, "I can't be found by him."

Spearhead asks, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "Who is him?"

[TO Spearhead (OOC)]: is what me?

Spearhead asks, his voice muffled by a hammered iron greathelm, "The one that killed you?"

[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: someone talking to me IC

Spearhead drops a burning brass lantern.

Spearhead puts a smooth-handled iron pickaxe into his exquisite gray leather pack.

You say, "Yes. He came out of the shadows and took us out one by one."

Spearhead takes off a hammered iron greathelm.

Spearhead puts a hammered iron greathelm in the exquisite gray leather satchel that he is wearing.

Spearhead opens an exquisite gray leather pouch.

Spearhead removes a napped gray linen face-wrap painted with stark white geometric patterns from his exquisite gray leather pouch.

Spearhead puts on a napped gray linen face-wrap painted with stark white geometric patterns.

Spearhead closes an exquisite gray leather pouch.

Spearhead removes an open-faced copper helm from his exquisite gray leather satchel.

Spearhead puts an open-faced copper helm on his head.

Spearhead carefully searches the area.

You say, "We had no chance."

Spearhead carefully searches the area.

Spearhead carefully searches the area.

Spearhead carefully searches the area.

Spearhead carefully searches the area.

Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a napped gray linen face-wrap painted with stark white geometric patterns, "Come out."

Spearhead removes a masterfully-forged iron voulge etched along the blade with tribal runes from his pole harness.

(Spearhead bangs the voulge's shaft against his helm! *bong*)

You say, "I can't... he'll kill me."

Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a napped gray linen face-wrap painted with stark white geometric patterns, "He won't."

unhide
Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a napped gray linen face-wrap painted with stark white geometric patterns, "Whoever he is."

You come out of hiding.

You laugh!

You lean softly on Spearhead.

Spearhead snickers.
20:21:01 [CHAT - (a mysterious GM)]: With obvious effort, Zuki pries up a thick scale over a drakolin's chest! Zuki spearhand-strikes the soft, unprotected area under the scale! Heart ruptured, death follows immediately. A drakolin lets out a final bellow of rage and falls lifeless to the ground.
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Kiyaani
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Post by Kiyaani »

Spearhead wasn't wearing his helm when he bonged - ouchies!
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Makkah
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Post by Makkah »

Haha... I was SO confused. I logged in and 2 seconds later you said something. And I was in a fairly remote area.

I did have a helmet on! Got 2 sets of helmets.
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Orris
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Re: For Humor

Post by Orris »

[OOC - Ardor ze Svindler]: Want to borrow my Opionion-enhancer Mascond?

[OOC - Mascond has a nickname]: Sure Ard.

[OOC - Mascond has a nickname]: does it give +5 to charisma?

[OOC - Ardor ze Svindler]: Nah, it's a bloodglass mastercrafted greataxe
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Orris
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Re: For Humor

Post by Orris »

An infested carrier just arrived.

Blitz says, "Thank you, Orris. And with that, I must be off."

Blitz removes a logging axe from his black leather haft-frog.

An infested carrier throws an awkward punch at Blitz! (M:100 vs D:xxx P:xxx)
1 bludgeon damage -- to the right leg, greatly deflected by some blackened bronze greaves.

Blitz swings a logging axe at an infested carrier! (M:xxx vs D:100)
71 hack damage to the right leg!
An infested carrier falls to the ground!


att car
(Changing combat position to Engage)
You thrust with an exquisite cobalt trident with a sanded oak haft at an infested carrier! (M:411 vs D:26)
63 pierce damage to the right leg!
You swing the haft of an exquisite cobalt trident with a sanded oak haft at an infested carrier! (M:411 vs D:21)
13 bludgeon damage to the chest!
(energy -5)
Roundtime: 6 seconds.

EEng>
Blitz swings a logging axe at an infested carrier! (M:xxx vs D:21)
94 hack damage to the right eye!
Nasty slash enters the eye, shattering the socket.
An infested carrier has been defeated.

Blitz puts a logging axe in the black leather haft-frog that he is wearing.

Speaking to the corpse of an infested carrier, you say, "Nice try."
We both thought we had a pretty nice combo attack there!
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Jaster
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Re: For Humor

Post by Jaster »

Jaster selling it hard.
You are holding a nice copper lockpick in your right hand.

Baerden says, "How much would you charge for one of those tools."

You say, "2000 riln."

Baerden grumbles.
Baerden says, "Too steep for me."

You say, "It's laborious to make them."

Baerden says, "Hmm."
Baerden asks, "Make?"

You nod.
You say, "I make my own. That's the only way to know I'm getting a good product."

Baerden asks, "Nicer than the regular ones eh?"
Baerden says, "Ok. i could do 2000 in that case."
Baerden says, "Im not trying to be a locksmith, i just need something for field smithing."

You say, "You wanted the nicer ones? I thought you just meant the base, regular ones. A nicer one would cost at least 3500. My top of the line is 4000."
You say, "Well worth the price, of course."

Baerden frowns.
Baerden says, "Whatever is handiest."

You say, "They're all handy, if you know how to use them."

Baerden says, "Easiest to procure."

You say, "I happen to have some in each class right now, if you're in a buying mood."

Baerden nods.
Baerden says, "How about a 3500 one."

You tap a nice copper lockpick which you are holding.
You say, "You're looking at it."

Baerden asks, "Copper. isnt that prone to breaking?"

You say, "I don't make trash."

Baerden frowns.

You say, "But if you want a steel one, it'll cost you 3800."

Baerden says, "Alright.."
Baerden says, "Id rather have steel."

You nod.
You put a nice copper lockpick in the double-strapped leather lockpick case that you are wearing.
You remove a nice steel lockpick from the double-strapped leather lockpick case you are wearing.
You show your nice steel lockpick to Baerden.

Baerden says, "Let me grab your fee."
Baerden hands you 3800 riln.

You are carrying 7378 riln.
You nod.
You offer to give a nice steel lockpick to Baerden.
You may cancel if you wish to withdraw the offer.

Baerden opens a fine leather belt.
Baerden has accepted your offer and is now holding a nice steel lockpick.
Baerden carefully examines a nice steel lockpick.

You say, "Now if you run off and break it within the next bell, I'm not responsible. I can't control the skill of the user."

Baerden says, "Appreciate your craftmanship sir."
Baerden nods.

You say, "Appreciate your business."

Baerden puts a nice steel lockpick in the fine leather belt that he is wearing.
Baerden closes a fine leather belt.
Baerden salutes.

You notice Baerden quietly slip into a hiding spot.
You notice Baerden move stealthily southeast.
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Blitz
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Re:

Post by Blitz »

[i]A long, long time ago ...[/i] Acarin wrote:This is my fourth ragequit effect now and definitely my least favorite.

Seriously... can I go back to being a pretty princess?
I've been Landioned! My ragequit has been reduced from "RAAAAAAAAAAAGE QUIIIIIIIIIIIT!" + Logout to the meek "You mad? "

Blitz wants to be a pretty princess too. D=
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Landion
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Re: Re:

Post by Landion »

Blitz wrote:I've been Landioned! My ragequit has been reduced from "RAAAAAAAAAAAGE QUIIIIIIIIIIIT!" + Logout to the meek "You mad? "

Blitz wants to be a pretty princess too. D=
Psh. That's nothing. You havn't been truly "Landioned" until you explode upon typing ragequit.
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Acarin
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Re: Re:

Post by Acarin »

Landion wrote: Psh. That's nothing. You havn't been truly "Landioned" until you explode upon typing ragequit.
Truth. That's how I used to farm Acarin ears.
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Rias
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Re: For Humor

Post by Rias »

How I'm going to deal with player complaints and requests from now on:
Acarin exclaims, "Rias, fix purity!"

** Acarin falls unconscious!

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the head!
(energy -3)

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the back!
(energy -3)

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the right hand!
(energy -3)

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the head!

*** Acarin falls to the ground, defeated!

A pair of medics run in, heave Acarin's body onto a stretcher, and rush off to the infirmary.

*** Acarin was just defeated by Rias at River Crossing!

(energy -3)

You cheer!

quit
Goodbye.
(Note: I am being a sarcast, I will not actually kick you to death if you complain or request something. Also this was in the OOC Arena, no IC Acarins were harmed in the OOC killing of this Acarin.)
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Acarin
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Re: For Humor

Post by Acarin »

Rias wrote:How I'm going to deal with player complaints and requests from now on:
Acarin exclaims, "Rias, fix purity!"

** Acarin falls unconscious!

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the head!
(energy -3)

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the back!
(energy -3)

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the right hand!
(energy -3)

You kick at Acarin! (M:100099 vs D:0)
25 bludgeon damage to the head!

*** Acarin falls to the ground, defeated!

A pair of medics run in, heave Acarin's body onto a stretcher, and rush off to the infirmary.

*** Acarin was just defeated by Rias at River Crossing!

(energy -3)

You cheer!

quit
Goodbye.
(Note: I am being a sarcast, I will not actually kick you to death if you complain or request something. Also this was in the OOC Arena, no IC Acarins were harmed in the OOC killing of this Acarin.)
You hurl a freezing inky-black blob at Rias.
A freezing inky-black blob surges toward Rias. (R:192 vs D:91)
54 nether damage - to the right eye!
Nether tendrils enter the skull through the eyeball!

*** Rias falls to the ground, defeated!

A pair of medics run in, heave Rias's body onto a stretcher, and rush off to the infirmary.

*** Rias was just defeated by Acarin at Coastline, Red Base!

Roundtime: 5 seconds.

scowl
You scowl.

[OOC - Rias]: Abuse!

laugh
You laugh!

[OOC - Rias]: GMs, Acarin killed me!
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Rias
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Re: For Humor

Post by Rias »

Nerf sorcery!!
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Acarin
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Re: For Humor

Post by Acarin »

Or alternatively, nerf purity.
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Makkah
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Re: For Humor

Post by Makkah »

[OOC - Jedi Master DEV Rithiel the Chat Euthanizer]: FRENCH FRIES!

* Rithiel has left the lands.

Water slowly drips off a scruffy red varhound, though it remains drenched.

chat lol
[OOC - Zoquiyo]: lol

EWAvd>
Water slowly drips off you, though you remain drenched.

Water slowly drips off the Fisherman Alerr, though he remains drenched.

chat that sounded like a victory cry
Water slowly drips off a Mistral Lake guardsman, though he remains drenched.

[OOC - Zoquiyo]: that sounded like a victory cry

EWAvd>
[OOC - Philosopher Baerden]: ah. the ancient battle call..
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Rias
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Re: For Humor

Post by Rias »

[FROM Kiyaani (OOC)]: wtf was that?

[FROM Kiyaani (OOC)]: veggie tales?

[TO Kiyaani (OOC)]: What?

[FROM Kiyaani (OOC)]: I KNOW IT WAS YOU

[TO Kiyaani (OOC)]: Okay, weirdo.
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Kiyaani
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Re: For Humor

Post by Kiyaani »

Whatever, Mr. I'm going to kidnap someone to some 70s kitchen with a tomato and a cucumber staring at you and disembodied, singing voice.
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Bryce
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Re: For Humor

Post by Bryce »

[ESP-GRAY - Kent]: I say, Bryce, would you be able to unlock a crypt lock soon/.
[ESP-GRAY - Bryce]: You don't have to state that you're sayin something as you say it, gramps. Where's this crypt?
[ESP-GRAY - Kent]: The Shadgard Burial Grounds.
[ESP-GRAY - Bryce]: Old rival, huh?
[ESP-GRAY - Kent]: I could meet you at the canyon entrance.
[ESP-GRAY - Kent]: Old rival? I do not understand.
[ESP-GRAY - Bryce]: Well, if you're breakin into their crypt, figured you were up to no good.
[ESP-GRAY - Kent]: I am going to root out evil at it's source.
[ESP-GRAY - Bryce]: So you really hated im, right. I'll be there soon.

(We eventually arrive at the place. There's a corpse of a dead patrolman on the ground.)

You hear the muffled voice of Kent raspily ask, "This is it?"
You ask, "That him?"
(Kent proceeds to loot every item off the corpse and stow it all)
You ask, "The old rival of yours?"
Kent raspily says, his voice muffled by a greathelm, "I do not know this man."
You say, "Oh, right. Sure, whatever you want your story to be."
Kent raspily says, his voice muffled by a greathelm, "But he needs a decent burial."
You say, "Nice to strip him naked before burying him."
You say, "Very decent."
Kent raspily says, his voice muffled by a greathelm, "I left his wide belt on him."
You ask, "You're a sick old man, you know that?"
Kent raspily says, his voice muffled by a greathelm, "It's tradition to be buried in those."
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