For Humor

[Rannveig]

With some extra IC convo in-between cut out:

::SAY:: Echlin clarifies, "The roc was not infested. It was probably looking for food, and there were a lot of dead resen about. And me. And a lot of
other people. But i must have looked far more apetising."

::EMOTE:: Neyah snorts, glancing over at Echlin, "Probably a lot of people think that of you as well."

::EMOTE:: Echlin eyes Neyah for a few moments, expression thoughtful. Then, very suddenly, she raises her hand and flips her off.

::SAY:: Speaking to Neyah, Echlin simply exclaims, "I know that was a joke, but that is what I think!"

[Zeldryn]

[Storage Locker Niche] (InUrCvRk) Mild
Several storage lockers line the rough red sandstone walls of this little niche where townsfolk can store items that they don't have room for elsewhere.
The area is poorly-lit. The area is completely silent.
You also notice a wooden trash barrel and a storage locker.
Obvious exits: out.
l in lock
In the storage locker you see ...
a birch-planked handcart
a large straight <redacted> branch
There is some room left in the storage locker.


Notice that the locker still has room inside of it.

[Zeldryn]

I almost forgot about this.

A week or so ago, in Clok Q&A voice chat on discord. We're talking about lore, and things get a little. Well. We were talking about fast food for some reason, and.. This was said. In my defense, here. It was a little bit of a, "You had to be there" kind of moment, but. Well.

Me: "So The old King, he hunted down all of those Hillfolk, right? For having the blonde hair and the blue eyes."

The others: "Right. Because of the light-- he was afraid of the inner light."

Me: "No, no. See. He was afraid of the golden arches. He was afraid of McDonalds. The golden hair-- the golden arches."

Everyone else: *crickets*

Me: "He was a Burger King."

[Smoothcoffee]

Just a little flattery...
Zoe exclaims, "Oh!, very nice!, bet it was a lovely chat, you two are such nice company!"
You amusedly say, "I am? That's real sweet."
[ESP-GRAY]: An onyx entity sympathetically says, "I feel that same disappointment nearly every day."

[Sneaky]

I submit this entry into the Book of Zoe

You head southwest.
[The Hanged Man, Bar] (shop) (InUr) Mild
You also notice a wooden trash barrel.
Also here: Zoe (briny).
Obvious exits: northeast.
You wave at Zoe.
Zoe beams happily at you!
You smile.
You sit down on a tall padded stool.
Zoe exclaims, "Cili!!"
You exclaim, "Zoe!"
Zoe exclaims, "Its a good day, I got to see, you.. and make you, eat your words!"
You laugh!
You say, "Alright."
You say, "Oh, I also brought this for you."
Zoe slams a pristine page on the table and slides it over to you. "behold, this ancient document!, that was, done by the smart folk, explaining it to use, that I found years ago, in a library ruins".
You open a ruched black wool sack displaying tiny abalone charms.
You remove a small sandstone bloodhare totem from the ruched black wool sack displaying tiny abalone charms (open) you are wearing.
You close a ruched black wool sack displaying tiny abalone charms.
You offer to give a small sandstone bloodhare totem to Zoe.
Zoe accepts your offer and is now holding a small sandstone bloodhare totem.
You say, "Hmm, let's see about this ancient document."
You accept Zoe's offer and are now holding an inscribed parchment letter.
You hum a tune.
You read an inscribed parchment letter (Common Letters) that you are holding:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rushed and quick drawing of a "circle" with closed eyes, on a bed, a little blanket covering it, and an arrow points next to it with the words sleeping sun. Above the sleeping sun is a crescent moon, smiling happy and being awake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zoe goes oohh, at the bloodhare "bunny!!".
You say, "Shucks, I guess you're right."
You ask, "Oh wait... What's this?"
You open a white high-collared linen cloak.
Zoe hugs her small sandstone bloodhare totem close to herself.
Cili carefully adds some markings to the page while Zoe is distracted with the totem.
Zoe exclaims, "I'm glad I was able to convince you!"
You consider appending to the writing already on your inscribed parchment letter, which would ultimately be:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rushed and quick drawing of a "circle" with closed eyes, on a bed, a little blanket covering it, and an arrow points next to it with the words sleeping sun. Above the sleeping sun is a crescent moon, smiling happy and being awake.
On closer inspection, it appears that the sleeping sun has one eye open, not asleep after all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you're satisfied with this draft, type write confirm to actually write it down.
You write on your inscribed parchment letter with a stick of writing charcoal.
You offer to give an inscribed parchment letter to Zoe.
Zoe pays no attention, as her focus is on the totem.
Zoe accepts your offer and is now holding an inscribed parchment letter.
You say, "I don't know, it looks awake to me."
Zoe reads an inscribed parchment letter.
Zoe rubs her chin thoughtfully.
Speaking to you, Zoe asks, "What time, does the sun usually start to shine?"
You say, "It's always shining."
You beam happily at Zoe!
Zoe asks, "It isnt!.. lets see, the sun wakes up at about, 5 bells, yes?"
Zoe opens a corset-laced pink suede satchel tied with multicolored ribbons.
You hum a tune.
You say, "Just because it's not shining here doesn't mean it's not shining elsewhere."
Zoe blatantly begins to draw, right in front of you.
You snort.
Zoe writes on an inscribed parchment letter with a stick of writing charcoal.
You accept Zoe's offer and are now holding an inscribed parchment letter.
You say, "Let's see, what details did I miss."
You read an inscribed parchment letter (Common Letters) that you are holding:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rushed and quick drawing of a "circle" with closed eyes, on a bed, a little blanket covering it, and an arrow points next to it with the words sleeping sun. Above the sleeping sun is a crescent moon, smiling happy and being awake.
(The handwriting changes here.)
On closer inspection, it appears that the sleeping sun has one eye open, not asleep after all.
(The handwriting changes here.)
a clock has been added, with the time showing 4:40.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zoe exclaims, "As you can see, the sun, is just waking up now, getting ready.. to start its day!!"
Zoe exclaims, "After, a good nights rest!"
You cover your face with your palm.
Cili glances at the page once more and then perks up.
You consider appending to the writing already on your inscribed parchment letter, which would ultimately be:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rushed and quick drawing of a "circle" with closed eyes, on a bed, a little blanket covering it, and an arrow points next to it with the words sleeping sun. Above the sleeping sun is a crescent moon, smiling happy and being awake.
(The handwriting changes here.)
On closer inspection, it appears that the sleeping sun has one eye open, not asleep after all.
(The handwriting changes here.)
a clock has been added, with the time showing 4:40.
Little lines run through the face of the clock, it must be broken.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you're satisfied with this draft, type write confirm to actually write it down.
You write on your inscribed parchment letter with a stick of writing charcoal.
You say, "Ah, but you see, the moon is still wide awake. Obviously the clock is broken... And hmm, yes, I even see cracks in it."
You offer to give an inscribed parchment letter to Zoe.
Zoe accepts your offer and is now holding an inscribed parchment letter.
Zoe exclaims, "Because its not the moons time to sleep yes, once the sun finished breakfast, then the moon will come home, and the sun, will go out to play!"
Zoe says, "But lets see.."
Zoe reads an inscribed parchment letter.
Zoe exclaims, "Sure they might have had a broken clock.. but, its a good thing they have another, working clock!"
Zoe rubs her chin thoughtfully.
Zoe has a few words with a bartender.
You giggle!
You accept Zoe's offer and are now holding an inscribed parchment letter.
You read an inscribed parchment letter (Common Letters) that you are holding:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rushed and quick drawing of a "circle" with closed eyes, on a bed, a little blanket covering it, and an arrow points next to it with the words sleeping sun. Above the sleeping sun is a crescent moon, smiling happy and being awake.
(The handwriting changes here.)
On closer inspection, it appears that the sleeping sun has one eye open, not asleep after all.
(The handwriting changes here.)
a clock has been added, with the time showing 4:40.
(The handwriting changes here.)
Little lines run through the face of the clock, it must be broken.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You say, "I only see one clock."
Zoe says, "Because.. I forgot.. to add it.."

[Brandt]

We were in a very remote place that people hardly ever come to, talking about a thing, and then:

Speaking to Safiyah, you quietly say, "As for your question, dearest, i am unsure. I do not have anyone that i am close to on the level that you are with sir zeldryn, but perhaps miss echlin? She is one of my closest friends."
Safiyah warmly exclaims, "Echlin!"
*exactly one second later*
Echlin arrives, carrying a stiletto.

[Xanthe]

pick mushrooms
But a glowing cluster of tiny mushrooms isn't locked!

[Zeldryn]

[Kildr Dale, Ledge] (OutMtRkDt) Late Morning, Mild, Clear, Calm
A ledge protrudes from the steep northern valley wall, host to an enormous towering #pine that reaches up into the sky. Treetops and glimpses of the valley floor can be seen to the southeast, the glimmer of sunlight on water drawing attention to a large spring in the distance. Splitting the rocky nearby cliff is a large #crevice, its depths shrouded in shadow.
The area is mostly quiet.
Obvious paths: a towering pine (upward), a large crevice (dark).

You extinguish your beeswax candle.

You take a closer look at a towering pine (upward) in the area ...
The pine is tall and thick, a dense mat of needles beneath it. There don't seem to be any low branches on its trunk - climbing up to the nearest limbs would be a difficult task.
It could be climbed, and you'd estimate the base difficulty to be a SPOILER on the Karth Scale.
Considering your current skill and encumbrance, climbing it would involve some risk.
You feel fully rested.

You begin climbing up a towering pine.
(You will continue to silently repeat this action until you specifically stop or are otherwise prevented from continuing.)
(energy -10)

(Eventually)

You climb up a towering pine (upward).
[Kildr Dale, Towering Pine] (Out) Late Morning, Mild, Clear, Calm
About halfway up the height of the towering pine a rocky #shelf juts out of the nearby valley wall. Large, thick #limbs grow below, stopping far above ground level, while smaller #branches grow up toward the treetop. Strange noises come from within a large #knothole, their source unknown.
The area is mostly quiet.
Obvious paths: some thick limbs, some branches toward the top of a towering pine (upward), a rocky shelf.
An infested squirrel springs out from a hiding place!
(energy -10)
You continue climbing upward and are about halfway up ...
You've finished your climb, having reached the top of some thick limbs toward the bottom of a towering pine!
You manage to stay out of an infested squirrel's melee range!
An infested squirrel springs out from a hiding place!
(energy -1)
{TREE POWERS ACTIVATE}
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly leap out of harm's way in a smooth flip and land out of reach!

An infested squirrel springs out from a hiding place!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):28 vs Dodge (-1500%)
dodged!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):30 vs Dodge(-975%)
dodged!
(energy -1)
{TREE POWERS ACTIVATE}
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly leap out of harm's way in a smooth flip and land out of reach!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):93 vs Dodge(-969%)
dodged!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):25 vs Dodge(-468%)
dodged!
You manage to stay out of an infested squirrel's melee range!
(energy -1)
{TREE POWERS ACTIVATE}
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly leap out of harm's way in a smooth flip and land out of reach!
att
(Could not find your default weapon!)
(Changing your combat mode to Engage.)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
26 bludgeon damage (body)
Several broken ribs driven into the chest! Shish-ka-squirrel. *mortal*
An infested squirrel lets out a pitiful squeak and goes still.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):62 vs Dodge(-825%)
dodged!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):4 vs Dodge(-692%)
dodged!
att
(Could not find your default weapon!)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
36 bludgeon damage (body)
Internal abdominal organs crushed. *mortal*
An infested squirrel lets out a pitiful squeak and goes still.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
(energy -1)
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!
att
Wait 1 seconds.
Queuing following command: att
(You may clear your command queue at any time)
(Could not find your default weapon!)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
2 bludgeon damage (body)
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):90 vs Dodge(-1449%)
dodged!
att
Wait 2 seconds.
Queuing following command: att
(You may clear your command queue at any time)
(Could not find your default weapon!)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
10 bludgeon damage (body)
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
(energy -1)
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!
att
Wait 3 seconds.
Queuing following command: att
(You may clear your command queue at any time)
(Could not find your default weapon!)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
14 bludgeon damage (body)
Internal abdominal organs crushed. *mortal*
An infested squirrel lets out a pitiful squeak and goes still.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

You surprisedly mutter, "..Why I didn't expect squirrels to be up in a tree, I don't know. But that shouldn't have scared me."
Your frosted crystal skull pendant (slightly faded) pulses as you attempt to project your speech over the ESP network.
[ESP-GRAY]: A sapphire entity surprisedly mutters, "..Why I didn't expect squirrels to be up in a tree, I don't know. But that shouldn't have scared me."

You bury the corpse of an infested squirrel.

You bury the corpse of an infested squirrel.

You bury the corpse of an infested squirrel.

You take a closer look at some branches toward the top of a towering pine (upward) in the area ...
Several thick branches grow along the upper trunk of the towering pine, providing easy climbing.
It could be climbed, and you'd estimate the base difficulty to be around a SPOILER on the Karth Scale.
Considering your current skill and encumbrance, you think you could manage the climb with virtually no risk.

You begin climbing up some branches toward the top of a towering pine.
(You will continue to silently repeat this action until you specifically stop or are otherwise prevented from continuing.)
(energy -10)
You continue climbing upward and are about halfway up ...
You climb up some branches toward the top of a towering pine (upward).
[Kildr Dale, Towering Pine Treetop] (Out) Late Morning, Mild, Clear, Calm
Treetops of the surrounding valley woods can be seen from the top of the towering pine, clusters of quaking aspen occasionally seen amongst the more common pines. A large bird's #nest has been built securely in the V of a split branch, made from sturdy sticks and twigs. Dense clusters of #branches grow down the trunk of the enormous tree, spindly with green needles.
The area is mostly quiet.
Obvious paths: some branches leading down the trunk of the towering pine (downward).
You've finished your climb, having reached the top of some branches leading down the trunk of the towering pine!

NOW
FIGHT
YOUR
RIVAL

An infested squirrel springs out from a hiding place!
(energy -1)
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!
An infested squirrel springs out from a hiding place!
An infested squirrel springs out from a hiding place!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):59 vs Dodge(-1410%)
dodged!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):26 vs Dodge(-1727%)
dodged!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):43 vs Dodge(-1069%)
dodged!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):48 vs Dodge(-197%)
dodged!
(energy -1)
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!

An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):63 vs Dodge(54%)
4 pierce damage (80%) (left leg, trousers)

The Narrarator: He didn't know it yet, but that squirrel? That squirrel would be the reason for many, many deaths in years to come. The Recen infection is a cruel mistress, folks. But that's a story for another time. Drink your emberberry juice!

[[Meanwhile, back at the plot]]

Many squirrel attacks later:

You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
16 bludgeon damage (body)
Internal abdominal organs crushed. *mortal*
An infested squirrel lets out a pitiful squeak and goes still.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
att
Wait 2 seconds.
Queuing following command: att
(You may clear your command queue at any time)
(energy -1)
Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):25 vs Dodge(-1386%)
dodged!
(Could not find your default weapon!)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
19 bludgeon damage (body)
Spine shatters with a loud *CRUNCH*. *mortal*
An infested squirrel lets out a pitiful squeak and goes still.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
att
Wait 3 seconds.
Queuing following command: att
(You may clear your command queue at any time)
An infested squirrel bites at you with its teeth! Melee(d106):4 vs Dodge(-1550%)
dodged!

Anticipating an attack from an infested squirrel, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!
(Could not find your default weapon!)
You punch at an infested squirrel with your unarmed strike!
18 bludgeon damage (body)
Several broken ribs driven into the chest! Shish-ka-squirrel. *mortal*
An infested squirrel lets out a pitiful squeak and goes still.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

You incredulously mutter, "I have no idea what I did to the gods o' squirrel, But i'm really sorry about that. I'll try not to do it next time."
Your frosted crystal skull pendant (slightly faded) pulses as you attempt to project your speech over the ESP network.
[ESP-GRAY]: A sapphire entity incredulously mutters, "I have no idea what I did to the gods o' squirrel, But i'm really sorry about that. I'll try not to do it next time."

[Sneaky]

Good to know that the postal service is diligent as ever.
** You get the feeling you should swing by the post office. **
You are an insubstantial wandering spirit.

[Lukepop]

You have 9 riln in coins:
9 silver riln (in some tattered wool pants (bloody, dirty, gore-covered, bloodstained, well-worn))

Opulence.

[Xanthe]

Downing the rest of a gallows-etched copper mug, Lark grins playfully at Zeldryn. "I'm going to sing you a song," she announces, her breath smelling of venom as she leans in to kiss Zeldryn on the nose. "Pretend I'm a lizard."

[Zeldryn]

*** Logging you in as the character Zeldryn ...
========================================
Welcome back, Zeldryn.
If you experience any bugs, please report them with the bug command!
Use the tell command to send an OOC message to a specific user (tell Khan You owe me some cookies!).
Your feedback is appreciated! Sign up on the BBS (https://clok.contrarium.net/bbs) and post your comments, questions and suggestions.
{Morale +2.00}
Aahh, you enjoyed a nice, long, comfortable sleep.


[FROM Heckturtle (OOC)]: i had a dream last night that zeldryn murdered me over kefir. i've never even had kefir. but it was an honor, for some reason. hello by the way

[TO Heckturtle (OOC)]: ....WHAT
[FROM Heckturtle (OOC)]: i had that same reaction when i woke up and processed it
[TO Heckturtle (OOC)]: Well i'm just gonna go ahead and.. Submit this for consideration

[esthy]

How a serious moment got ruined by an accidental mistarget:

Echlin's pacing has now calmed, although she did spend a good few minutes staring off at nothing with the same troubled expression. Now, her attention shifts to Kissa again. "Hey," a thin leather boot sheath (closed) begins quietly, tentatively. "You know if...?" she trails off, glancing around awkwardly, then gives the smallest of shrugs with one shoulder.

[Brandt]

I'm not sure how funny this will be for those who weren't there, but this made my week so here we go. The background is that on thursday we had a vc with rias, and a friend mentioned the very big bad exams i have upcoming (at 1 am my time, and i realized i must sleep). Some jokes were made. The next day, in the evening, when i log in:
Logging in as Oanatn ...
... Success!
[#WHO] * Oanatn just logged in. Shouldn't they be studying right now?

But rias' dedication to ensuring i do not forget my irl duties goes even further! For lo, two hours later, in the dark and spooky depths of the thaelsh sewers, me and a friend were just... you know, chilling.
A festering bile wight arrives from the south, carrying a staff.
A twisted black arachnid snaps at Safiyah with its mandibles!
A festering bile wight exclaims, "You foolish Templar should spend more time studying!"

[Rannveig]

Me trying to remember if there's a command to check your medical debts:

medical debt
Wait 2 seconds.

Queuing following command: medical debt
(You may clear your command queue at any time)

>>RT:2 Avd BLOCK! E:500 B:0 Enc:1 Ntr:69% Lay Wound:4 bloody smelly Exp:0%
[Roundtime finished.]

You can't do that while lying down.

>>Avd BLOCK! E:500 B:0 Enc:1 Ntr:69% Lay Wound:4 bloody smelly Exp:0%

Excuse me. I can worry about my medical bills whenever I want.

(Edit: that wasn't it, by the way. For anyone wondering.)

[Zeldryn]

Zeldryn bobs his head to Eirlys as he strolls out of the Town Hall. "Hey-ho. How fairs?"
Echlin crawls in.
You glance at Echlin.

Echlin crawls east.

You slowly ask, "You uh. Had enough to drink there, seashell?"
Your small sapphire crystal pendant (slightly faded) pulses as you attempt to project your speech over the ESP network.
[ESP-GRAY]: A sapphire entity slowly asks, "You uh. Had enough to drink there, seashell?"
Eirlys glances up from an inscribed light paper scroll, offering, "Ello, ello." Then she's back to trying to read, her mouth sounding out the letters. Frowning, she sighs, resting it on her lap.
Eirlys blinks.
[ESP-GRAY]: A seashell entity embarrassedly mumbles, "I... nothing... I was."
Eirlys slowly asks, "Was that an extraordinarily long baby, or was that echlin?"

[Slightbeam]

Code: Select all

You peer down a rickety ladder (downward) and see ...

[Corvus Outpost, Bottom of the Well] (InCvRkDt)  Cold
A fine layer of frost covers the rock walls and the metal rungs of the ladder leading up out of the
well. Patches of thick ice fill the low points in the uneven ground, and a cold mist creeps in from 
the passageway that rises to the south.
The area is poorly-lit. There is a thin cloud of fog here. The area is completely silent. 
Also here: 
   your dark gray donkey