An Explanation

[blindndangerous]

I really don't know quite where to begin with this honestly. Really it might seem a little silly to write this, but I feel it a little necessary. I just wanted to let you all know where I've been these past few weeks and the future, at least for me.
Over the past few months, I felt myself becoming less enthused with Clok. Things just weren't fun anymore, the playerbase seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, really it just wasn't as fun as I remembered when I started playing. I know I could've found something new to do, but I was just burnt out of all my characters and wasn't sure where to take any of them. Compounding that, I've had been struggling with what I believe is depression for a long time. I've not been officially diagnosed by a professional, but I'd like to fix that at some point soon in the future, if things go the way I'd like them to. This coupled with me also breaking up with my girlfriend just pushed me away from Clok, and really all muds for a little bit. I had a lot of very dark thoughts before this, thoughts that I'd never act on, but they were their all the same. I started to do a lot of reading, and I came across this series.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/143 ... on=service
My situation is nowhere as hellish as Smoky's, but I felt better after reading it. To not give up, to push through all of it, and come out stronger on the other side. I'd already been doing this sort of, but ... I don't know. It kind of ... just helped in some way.
A bit of time has passed, and I'm back on one of my favorite muds now. I've also started work on getting a job, and, should that come, moving from where I currently am. Am I better? No, not a hundred percent. Time has helped, as well as talking with great and true friends. I just have a lot of time to think and dwell on things that I shouldn't.
So what does this have to do with Clok? As much crap as I give this game, this game is also one of the games where I've had the most fun with. Learning that I could RP with help from the GM's, and the players has been a lot of fun. I figure that I can at least come back to this one, if I can go back to the other mud that I play regularly. I wonder if any of you will think it's stupid, that I should be able to do this no problem, but a lot of memories are tied to this mud as well. I can't quite explain it in words. I don't know what characters I'll bring around, but probably not my primaries. Cullen, Everu and Isen will come back, and I'll figure out how to weave them into the current goings on in the world, but I think I'll probably play smaller characters for now. I'm not making any new characters, don't worry. I think the grinding would drive me up the wall when you're first beginning a new characters journey.
If you read this far, thanks for reading all the way. I just thought it was worth mentioning to you all where I've been. I hope to see you all back in the game world at some point or another, and let's see what happens when we meet.
Mike.
P.S. As I wrote this, I was listening to this. Not sure why I'm putting this here, but it is really a great album. Plus, the songs kind of fit my mood.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/endan ... /id6931344

[Rias]

Well, I'm glad you find yourself able to have some fun around CLOK, and I hope you're able to tackle some of the troubles life is throwing at you. You're always welcome here!

[blindndangerous]

Thank you Rias. I know I said I'd be around, but things have been finally moving forward. Though my meeting was pushed back a bit, but that's ok. At least we're moving forward finally with things.

[Lavi]

Hello,

It makes me very glad to here that you are doing okay I have a lot of struggles with depression and so I know how it feels to be in that sort of state. Like you, I have pulled away from clok for a few reasons and at some point in the future I'd like to come back on some small level. But I hope mainly that you get to a point where you're happy and feeling good and whole. Keep moving forward is something I say to myself a lot. I'm always around if you need to talk too. :)

[blindndangerous]

Thanks Lavi. Yeah, I might do that here. Still have your info and all that. The same goes for you. You know how to find me should you need it. By the way Rias and other GM's, while I've not been around, on the other mud I play, I've gotten to meet some of those players out of character, and past the info to Clok to them. So, I believe you'll be getting new players, or, you probably already have.

[ydia]

I just started clok but you know me from other places Mike. You got to get better. You come first. You do what you got to do, and if you need to talk I'm here.

[blindndangerous]

I don't think I know who you are, at least not from teh board name, but thank you all the same. If you want, PM me on here. Or tell me through some other way.