For Humor

[Drayla]

Actually it must be Lae. She gave some pies to Zenthyr, Acarin stole one, and proceeded to stab a bunch of merchants in the neck and eyes with it. It would seem Acarin saved my life.

[Rias]

[GMCHAT Rithiel]: Who likes onion rings?
[GMCHAT Jirato]: ME
[GMCHAT Zoiya]: they're ok
[GMCHAT Rias]: Nobody. They're friggin disgusting.

As you can see, we strive to have a wide spectrum of tastes and opinions with our staff to prevent any bias.

[Jirato]

[GMCHAT Jirato]: Rias

[GMCHAT Rias]: wat

[[Hey - where did Rias come from?]]

[GMCHAT Jirato]: I think less of you now, because you don't like onion rings.

Rias asks, "Yeah?"

Rias says, "Well I think less of YOU, because ..."

You say, "Yup, just wanted to make sure you knew."

You've been demoted to GM tier 3 by Rias.

You've been demoted to GM tier 2 by Rias.

You've been demoted to GM tier 1 by Rias.

You've been demoted by Rias to a regular player - your GM abilities have been revoked.

Rias says, "BOOOOOOM."

Rias exclaims, "You're nothing but a lowly player!"

[CHAT - Jirato]: I'm a player! HELP!

You've been promoted to GM tier 1 by Rias. Lucky you!

You've been promoted to GM tier 2 by Rias. Lucky you!

You've been promoted to GM tier 3 by Rias. Lucky you!

You've been promoted to GM tier 4 by Rias. Lucky you!

Rias exclaims, "Now get back to work!"

Rias cracks a whip!

[Jaster]

Yup... that really just happened.

You lock a thick pine door.

You hear the scratching of tiny clawed feet skitter across the floor.

[Jaster's Private Home] (InUr)
This small wooden home consists of a single squarish room, its pine walls a faded grayish tinge. A small window near the front door does little to illuminate the home, the outside alley being shadowy and dim. Built into the eastern wall is a small stone fireplace.
The area is poorly-lit. The area is completely silent. The area is warmed by a burning small stone fireplace.
You also notice a gray squat pine desk with a white flower-shaped beeswax candle on it, a gray squat pine bed with a straw mattress, a gray long pine dresser with some stuff on it, a cushioned pine bench, a gray pine case varnished with a dark stain with some stuff on it, a workcart, a handcart, a package (open), some frilly pink curtains covered in sparkly sequins (hanging on the wall), a fire vial trap (armed) (x3), some hearty wheatcakes with maple syrup (x10), a masterfully-crafted oak flatbow-stave, a leather-bound belt powderhorn (x2), a black leather blackjack, a wooden watering bucket and an orange wooden pumpkin bucket.
You recall that a lockblade trap (x3), a yellow canvas backpack, a gray square pine trunk, a black oilcloth backpack, a maple barrel, a copper keyring, an iron mail neck standard and a filthy rats-nest have been hidden here, which you may recover.
Also here: a dirty rat (hiding), a dirty rat (hiding) and a dirty rat (hiding).
Obvious exits: none.

You say, "No escape, rats."

You remove a wavy-bladed iron kris from the dark leather dagger sheath you are wearing.

A dirty rat's hiding spot is revealed by your action!
(Changing combat position to Engage)
You spring from hiding to attack!
You swing a wavy-bladed iron kris at a dirty rat! (!) (M:301 vs D:1)
4 slash damage to the body!
You thrust with a wavy-bladed iron kris at a dirty rat! (!) (M:301 vs D:1)
10 pierce damage to the body!
A dirty rat has been defeated.

A quiet squeaking can be heard.

A dirty rat's hiding spot is revealed by your action!
You swing a wavy-bladed iron kris at a dirty rat! (M:301 vs D:100)
3 slash damage to the body!
You thrust with a wavy-bladed iron kris at a dirty rat! (M:271 vs D:100)
29 pierce damage to the body!
A dirty rat has been defeated.
You spring backward and tumble away to a safe distance!

A quiet squeaking can be heard.

A dirty rat's hiding spot is revealed by your action!
(Changing combat position to Engage)
As you move to attack, a dirty rat lures you into a fire vial trap!
A fire vial trap explodes beneath you, splattering you with fiery goo!
8 heat damage -- to the left foot, somewhat deflected by a pair of supple leather shoes.
You fall to the ground!

You are stunned for 5 seconds!


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
15 heat damage to the right eye!


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
3 heat damage - to the right foot, somewhat deflected by a pair of supple leather shoes.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
4 heat damage -- to the abdomen, somewhat deflected by a sturdy black leather vest.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
3 heat damage - to the left leg, somewhat deflected by some thick black leather pants.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
14 heat damage to the right arm!


st
You are no longer stunned.

You stand up.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
7 heat damage to the right eye!


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
4 heat damage -- to the right foot, somewhat deflected by a battered leather shoes.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
2 heat damage -- to the abdomen, somewhat deflected by a sturdy black leather vest.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
7 heat damage -- to the left leg, somewhat deflected by some thick black leather pants.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
13 heat damage to the right arm!


You exclaim, "The hell!"


You notice a dirty rat quietly slip into a hiding spot.

The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
6 heat damage to the right eye!


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
7 heat damage - to the right foot, somewhat deflected by a battered leather shoes.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
4 heat damage -- to the abdomen, somewhat deflected by a sturdy black leather vest.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
7 heat damage -- to the left leg, somewhat deflected by some thick black leather pants.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
15 heat damage to the right arm!


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
14 heat damage to the right eye!


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
2 heat damage -- to the right foot, somewhat deflected by a battered leather shoes.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
4 heat damage - to the abdomen, somewhat deflected by a sturdy black leather vest.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
5 heat damage - to the left leg, somewhat deflected by some thick black leather pants.


The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
6 heat damage to the right arm!


You continue to bleed from your right eye.

The fiery goo upon your right foot cools and crumbles away.

The fiery goo upon you continues to burn!
12 heat damage to the right eye!
Cooked eye, and likely everything behind, it can't be comfortable.
Jaster has been defeated.

[Rias]

That rat leveled up to 50 on that one kill and will soon be menacing the local populace.

[Jirato]

On my way to cause some trouble....

[OFFDUTY]EEng[[POSSESSING: a rotting lich]]Bd>
A shaggy bison attempts to trample you! (M:1025 vs D:1550) 130 crush damage + to the neck!
Larynx crushed! No more oxygen to the brain!
The crazed necromancer screams a final time before falling to the ground. Black shadows begin to writhe around his remains and suddenly form into a writhing black spirit!

Nethrim invasion almost single-handedly thwarted by a shaggy bison.

[Kiyaani]

Always liked those bison.

[Lun]

Ha! I was wondering why I saw bison wounded everywhere.

[Bryce]

(Death bell)
[ESP-GRAY - Russet]: I do not know where that is.
[ESP-GRAY - Golden-Yellow]: The tunnels of the caravan.
[ESP-GRAY - Golden-Yellow]: Go in force.
[ESP-GRAY - Silver]: Take them to Mistral. Gad is busy.
[ESP-GRAY - Snow]: 'ow busy we talkin' 'ere?
[ESP-GRAY - Sunset-Orange]: Heh heh! We know what that means!
[ESP-GRAY - Silver]: Shut it, Bryce.

[merin]

Lyros says, "The battle thrives, with the audience roaring their inward approval. The fighters stare fixedly, waiting for the attack. One wonders if the woman ruminates on the thought of striking with the kneecap toward the place which is the true evocation of the cry for men--the place where any man can remember the reason for the pain."

Speaking to Lyros, Kiyaani says, "You're fairly entertaining."
He made some quick riln from that statement, too.

[Bryce]

Next time you tell that story, have me come along so I can groinkick someone in the audience to really get the message across.

[Drayla]

[CHAT - Skah]: Sorceror Pickup Lines

[CHAT - Lavi]: would you like to share my taint?

[CHAT - Skah]: "Wanna leech my essence?"

[CHAT - Saren]: I'll show you some tainted love.

[CHAT - Saren]: Elemancer pickup lines are better.

[CHAT - Saren]: Is it hot in here or is it just me?

[CHAT - Saren]: Is that a boulder in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

[CHAT - Lavi]: you are the wind to my sails?

[CHAT - Lavi]: we covered the wind beneath my wings already.

[CHAT - Saren]: Baby, your looks sweep me off my feet.

[CHAT - Lavi]: you set me ablaze?

[CHAT - Lavi]: cuz your so smokin hot

[CHAT - Saren]: *slings mud at girl* You're a dirty girl.

[CHAT - Saren]: *combines pyro and hydro* Wanna make things steamy?

[CHAT - Lavi]: here let me brighten your day.

[CHAT - Saren]: You must be a geomancer cuz you just rocked my world.

Removed a few that were inappropriate or not that funny, along with a bit of chatter in between, but you get the idea. Bad things happen when we get bored. lol

[Skah]

You shift uncomfortably as gas attempts to escape your digestive system.

Zeel stares at you.

Karasi grins.

You blush, feeling your cheeks warm up.

Karasi blinks.

Speaking to you, Zeel says, "You're not eating one of those ever again."

Karasi sniffs.

Zeel coughs.

Karasi asks, "What did he eat?"

You say, "Let's get out of here."

Speaking to Karasi, Zeel says, "You don't want to know."

[Matilda]

(Matilda gives Octavia a small smile)

You have earned the emotional achievement!

[Lun]

Speaking to Zuki, Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a face-wrap, "Take a shot, little man."

Zuki says, "Thank yah."

You chuckle.

Speaking to Zuki, Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a face-wrap, "Spearhead."

(Spearhead raises a gauntleted hand.)

Zuki says, "Nice ta meet yah."

Zuki says, "Yah look kinda tough..."

Zuki says, "Wearin all that tin."

Zuki says, "I'm gonna have to use my head."

Zuki nods to Spearhead.

(Spearhead smashes a gauntleted hand against his breastplate. *bong!*)

Zuki rushes towards Spearhead to deliver a headbutt! (M:xxx vs D:xxx)
7 crush damage - to the head, partially deflected by a fine-linked iron coif.
Spearhead is stunned!

Zuki winks at Spearhead.

(Spearhead shakes his head, stunned.)

Zuki exclaims, "Yah sure are tough!"

Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a face-wrap, "A... well-dealt, blow."

Zuki says, "That hurt my head a lil bit."

*A FEW MINUTES LATER*

Speaking to Kiyaani, Spearhead says, his voice muffled by a face-wrap, "This little pisser got a shot in on me."

[Acarin]

Later:

You sit down.

Spearhead nods.

Lae just went north.

You nod to Spearhead.

Spearhead rushes toward you aiming an attack high! (Off: High vs Def: Low)
You nearly move to block the attack when you realize he is attempting to feint you. Instead you ignore the ruse.
Spearhead snickers.

[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: .........................

You chuckle.

You stand up.
Roundtime: 1 second.

You shrug.

[FROM Spearhead (OOC)]: insult to injury

You wave at Spearhead.

You head west.

[Evelyn]

Jhordon chuckles.

Jhordon says, "That pig sleep walks impressively."

A pink pot-bellied piglet just arrived via a rounded white door.

Also here: Jhordon (not wearing a shirt) and a pink pot-bellied piglet (asleep).
Obvious exits: none.

Alice sleep walks apparently! :D

[Lae]

I got called to the diner by two drunk women dragging a dead guy. Once he was up it was apparently back to business.


You ask, "Will the three of you be able to find Shadgard again?"

Evelyn exclaims, "Ah think sho!"

(Brandin points vaguely, that way?)

Brandin nods.

Sarint says, "Perhaaapsh another bar ish besht."

(Evelyn wobbles abit, hugging lae.)

Brandin nods.

Evelyn says, "We head shouth."

Evelyn nods.

Brandin joins Evelyn.

You say, "Be careful you three."



Have to say, my favorite part was Sarint being all like, well MAYBE we shouldn't go back to THAT particular bar.

[Noctere]

[Noctere's Sanctum, Parlor] (In)
You appear inside a small cobblestone chamber. In a corner of the chamber there is a dark swirling
vortex with two sconces carrying lit torches on either side. You see several small oak chairs along
one wall and a carved stone mural above them. The dark violet light from the vortex is casting
dancing shadows upon the whole room.
The dim light lessens your vision slightly. The area is mostly quiet.
You also notice a dark swirling vortex.
Also here: a living taco.
Obvious exits: west, east.

[Zoiya]

You hand 27 riln to the post worker and slip him a little something extra to leave your name off the mailing form, who takes your burning pile of manure, places it behind the desk and informs you that the recipient can check their mail at their designated post office to pick it up.

[criticalfault]

check
The post worker shuffles through some papers for a few moments, nods, and retrieves a pile of manure from behind the desk. "Here you go," she says as she hands you the manure. "Looks like that's it for your incoming mail."

check
The post worker shuffles through some papers for a few moments, nods, and retrieves a burning pile of manure from behind the desk. "Here you go," she says as she hands you the manure. "Looks like that's it for your incoming mail."

Sometime later...


(energy -3)
You hurl a burning pile of manure at a muscular infested raccoon!!
A burning pile of manure hurtles toward a muscular infested raccoon! (R:79 vs D:0) 0 gross damage to the body!
25 fire damage to the head!
Head, hair, flesh and face completely fried to a crisp.
A muscular infested raccoon has been defeated.
Roundtime: 3 seconds.

[Lun]

Someone mailed you flaming manure? Nice.

That poor post worker goes through a lot of [crap] daily, I'm afraid.

[Jaster]

I can't believe you wasted it on a raccoon! *deezgusted*

[Bryce]

I had been picking at this lock for several minutes, it was a stubborn one.

(Type stop to stop auto-lockpicking.)
You continue picking the lock on a simple walnut strongbox with your sleek bronze lockpick.
(You're unable to get an accurate feeling for the difficulty of this lock.)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

You swear, letting out an absurd curse.

Alyx says, "That doesn't sound good."

You say, "This thing's gonna open."

Speaking to you, Elystole says, "Threaten it."

say ::stro If you don't open, I'll feed you Jilliana's cookin
You continue picking the lock on a simple walnut strongbox with your sleek bronze lockpick.
(You would rate this lock's difficulty at about 975.)
You hear a satisfying *click* come from a simple walnut strongbox.
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

Speaking to a battered alder strongbox, you threaten, "If you don't open, I'll feed you Jilliana's cookin."
((Note I entered the command to threaten it before it actually opened))

You blink.

You laugh!

Yeah, I targeted the wrong strongbox with my directed speech, but everyone knew which one it was supposed to be.

[Noctere]

Speaking to Liani, Jhordon asks, "Go with Hughe...okay?"

Liani says, "With who? With Hugh? Hugh."