Long time no see, got something for y'all!

[Kunren]

Hello hello everybody! Its been quite a few years since I was active on Clok, or even the forums. I still remember it fondly however, even if I probably won't return to any of my old characters. Rest in peace Taric, the mercenary who'd do anything for some Riln, along with my barely remembered elemental boxer and wolf boy.

I'm here to ask for the critical eye of any of you old timers still running around here, or perhaps someone new who finds this particular post interesting. I've recently started writing for the first time in a setting outside school/rp! Its not particularly ambitious I don't think, especially compared to Preiman managing to publish and sell a real book (Kudos man!) as it is basically just fanfiction. I'm rewriting from episode one a series I happen to be in love with, Star vs The Forces of Evil. While I'm having oodles of fun doing so, I desperately need some feedback to help turn this very first bit of fiction into something enjoyable to read, so thats what I'm asking of anyone willing. Come give the story a read and give me your thoughts/critiques!

To the forum moderators: If this little advertisement is not kosher, I very much apologize, but as I had seen a few similar things (and this is of course free!!) I assumed it would be okay to post.

To anyone who has made it this far, hurray! I'll assume you're actually interested in my story and tell yah allll about it. So, first of all, a Primer on the series the fiction is based on: Star vs The Forces of Evil is about a fourteen year old princess from another dimension inheriting a massively powerful magical object. Being who she is, a borderline on the spectrum gal with the personality of a stubborn preschooler on a neverending sugar rush, she burns down her kingdom within days. The girl gets shipped off to a different dimension (Earth) so she can practice magic while destroying other people's [crap]. Here she meets the secondary protagonist, another 14 year old who is a weird mix of hyper vigilant safety conscious, omega nerd, and battle junkie. They quickly become fast friends and teach each other about their individual worlds over the course of adventures spanning the multiverse.

My particular piece of fiction is titled Marco vs The Forces of Evil. This will be a retelling of the whole story from the beginning from the viewpoint of the original secondary protagonist, Marco Diaz. I'll be reshuffling around tons of events to have them make more sense, adding in new information as I expand out the bits of world lore that never got addressed in the show, and writing without care for a disney filter-this fic can and will contain quite mature themes eventually. I have currently posted 16 chapters and a little more than 20k words, and intend to continue posting a chapter a day indefinitely until it is complete.

Warning: This fic will deal with teenage romance and sexuality, and later on potentially other mature themes. I will try to note if something particularly triggering is in a particular chapter, but in general I won't be censoring myself to keep things squeaky clean.

Now then! After allllll that, finally, here is the link to the fic itself. I hope some of you end up enjoying this, and a few of you deign to offer your words of wisdom to help it become even better. (Also that the post doesn't get yoinked by mods). Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28006 ... s/68602929