Marriage traditions

[Hakkon]

What do you think are some cultural marriage traditions in Arad? Personally I think a bulk of nations have the more 'traditional' proposals with rings and such, but I'm thinking maybe in Gruum an invention of significant complexity may also be used, at least among collegiates.

I'm imagining the Faewyr and Giganti are more practical about it. Either a trophy of some kind from a dangerous hunt or something to do with flowers. Either way there's likely not much ceremony. Marriage alliances are mentioned in the Wiki, so I imagine on a less grand scale it's a personal matter that house/clan heads can bless or not.

I'm curious to see other people's opinions!

[Rias]

Oooh, I'm curious to see what people think as well!

[Hakkon]

As a follow-up

While I think the actual proposal is fairly understated amongst the Faewyr and Giganti: I imagine the celebration of engagement and of marriage is extravagant. Feasts with music and delicacies and vast quantities of alcohol

[Xanthe]

There's jumping over a broom for when slaves are not allowed to get married (I think).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_the_broom
That could be something that could be done in cultures with slavery (such as the Nuum) - Or perhaps something similar, such as a ritualized dance representing the chase, hunt, and capture of one another.

[Kiyaani]

Marriage Traditions (By Race):

Faewyr: Being a very proud and druidic people who respect their ancestors, the Faewyr traditions are sacred with no room for improvisation. First, the person seeking marriage must win the acceptance of the tribe through a series of tests meant to prove his or her physical fitness, mental stamina, and strength of character. Each test is supervised by an animal guide who calls upon the spirits of the intended's ancestors as well as of other sacred beasts to judge. The animal guide is chosen by going to the Sacred Watering Hole of Choosing and presenting the Flaming Stick of Intent. Whatever creature flees the obligation of the trials last must guide the poor sap.

The tests are as follows:
1) Retrieve a bit of moss from between an albino moose's antlers. (You see, in Faewyr lands this moss attaches to moose just like barnacles on whales.)
2) Stay awake for three straight days while being quizzed by the ancestors about mundane and trivial aspects of married life along with anything else that springs to mind.
3) Sit with the grannies for three hours during their weekly brunch and impress them with your patience, resilience, wit, and charm.

After all of these tests have been passed, the person seeking marriage is allowed to officially propose to their intended. If accepted, the ceremony takes place immediately and the couple is joined in front of the whole village, the ancestors, and the animal spirits. If rejected, the person doing the rejecting must also go through the trials so they can understand the sacrifices made on their behalf.

Fasa: There is a great horse race (even if you're not from the horse tribe). Whoever wins gets to choose their mate. Everyone else has to wait until the next year.

Giganti: Take a large rock. Throw it at the intended. If they catch it, the couple gets married. If they get hit by it, the thrower must pay their medical bills and they do not get married. If they dodge it they don't have to marry the thrower and they're allowed to throw one back and the intital thrower is not allowed to move.

The thrower can either warn them or not in advance. If they don't, (thinking they will be rejected) the idea is to catch the intended off-guard enough that they catch it out of reflex and still have to get married. But GOOD LUCK WITH THAT MARRIAGE!

Grummer: The interested party presents the intended with a nut. If they wear it, they accept the proposal. Then the couple must build something together throughout the engagement. The time spent working on the project is meant to be time to learn more about each other and test compatibility. If they run out of money for parts or otherwise cannot finish, the coupling is considered doomed from the start and broken up, both parties sent back to their families in shame. If successful, the resulting project is then revealed to the town at the ceremony and is a testament to their love and reflects their personalities and bond together.

(They get a nice one because boring.)

Hillfolk: A pair of flaming shoes is left before the feet of the intended, meant to show the proposer's willingness to accept the person for who they are. If the fire is doused before burning out, the offer is rejected. Weddings include the happy couple being pulled in a hay wagon behind sturdy ponies whose manes and tails are woven and braided with wildflowers. The whole village follows in procession, throwing flowers and drinking ale in the couple's honor. Toasts are long-winded and compiled later into songs to be shared on the couple's anniversaries.

(They get a nice one because Hillfolk)

Huec: What is marriage?

Nuum: What is marriage? Part II Simply purchase a slave at auction based on their appearance and force them to be your concubine through use of magic combined with centuries of guilt and shame-inducing social engineering. If you're low-born or lower class and ugly, just don't get married. They must preserve the purity and elegance of the race. Proper breeding and appearance is essential!

Parren: Something, something pirates. Something, something beach bums. Something, something knot competitions and drinking until you pass out. Whoever you wake up next to is your spouse.

Rhuidim: In Tol Rhun, interested parties display their affection by affecting an air of disdain. Any gifts are rejected after being summarily rotted away with nether. No one gives direct eye contact because they have to stay edgy. Proposals are simple affairs. "Hey, wanna get married?" "Yeah, whatever." At which point both parties brush the hair out of their eyes and make eye contact one time. There is no ceremony or paperwork. It's just done.

Viali: People interested in each other are not allowed to express their interest. They must completely ignore each other unless it is socially required to interact - at which point - they may speak only what is necessary to remain polite and then go back to ignoring the person. So much so, that the only way to tell they are interested is because they have shown so little interest they must truly be interested.

At this point the only way for a man in Ivial to get approval to marry is the "impression". Potential husbands-to-be must court the future mother-in-law until she is impressed enough with his ability to properly care for her daughter and any future children they may have. Women, on the other hand, must remain demure, collected, and wholly repressed. Wedding ceremonies are held in the local branch of the Church of Light where if a white feather appears, the marriage is considered blessed. If not, you are doomed to a life of mediocrity. No one ever gets a feather.

[Bryce]

So that's why Jaster kept throwing flaming shoes at me.

[Jaster]

My shoes burn bright for you.

Giganti must have giant medical bills. *Snicker*

And I think we finally know the origin story of Spearhead's device, but what the hell is it, anyway?

[artus]

Where's that all races marriage from anyway?

[Kiyaani]

I made it up, Artus. Was just being silly. Please do not take those seriously. :)

That said, I hope other people post their ideas about what the real traditions might be or that we can get some official lore from the GMs.

[xavier]

I've never really given it much thought honestly but this post has sparked at least one idea.

I see the Nuum culture has being completely arranged, but instead of being arbitrary, it is more a collection of suitors for the prized female or male.
So let's say the family of some young woman wants to marry her off. They would choose anywhere between three and five suitors. These suitors are then given a chance to prove themselves through some status increasing cultural means. Art, reputation, architectural design, even alchemy or metallurgical expertise. Needless to say some of these methods probably cannot be achieved by a sole person, lending this to the status increasing bit since you probably aren't going to be able to get the girl if you can't get the help of others to help you win the girl.

Finally after each suitor has been given a year to make good on their achievement, the elders of the family and the person for whom the marriage is being arranged, in this case the young woman, make judgements on who has achieved the best. The elders base their judgement primarily on how impressed the woman is with each achievement, as she's pretty much been kept in the dark about all of this til now. They also base their judgement on how much effort was actually put into the achievement, whom the suitor could call on to achieve this result, as well as all the other obvious considerations. The woman makes her judgement based on whatever she bases her judgement on, for people, not just women are fickle.

The winning suitor is then arranged to be married to the suitee and they have only several weeks to get to know each other before a grand ceremony is carried out under the rising sun on whatever day has been chosen by the two family elders. A great feast lasts all day with games, dances, general festivities, and the like.

I also see this as being a place where slaves of particular beauty are probably found since there would probably have to be a lot of them to accomodate services and the like.